This is a little story that I will be retelling later in life if I'm blessed enough to have daughters one day. I hope you enjoy the madness that is my mind. Let's get started!
Once upon a time in a land far, far away, there lived a man who loved to tell the most fantastical stories. He especially loved to tell tales of the fairy variety that excited every little girl in the land! Princesses, castles, and princes, OH MY! Who was this magical man? Walt Disney, of course!
This man helped me to formulate what I now call the unicorn theory when I was just a wee one. His colorful stories told me that I should wait for a unicorn (he called them Prince Charming in his tales) and never settle for less because, "dreams can come true" (as he had one of his communication directors, Cinderella, inform me).
So, Mr. Disney constantly showed me pictures of unicorns, and on screen, I witnessed average girls like myself meeting these incredible unicorns and living happily ever after. I knew it was possible, and it was something I wanted out of life! Thank you, Walt, for helping me realize a dream!
Then, I grew up.
While I still wanted to believe that unicorns existed, real life experiences were clouding the waters for me. Whether it was happening directly to me, or to friends or family members, most of the girls I knew were ending up with types like these:
The horse. While not necessarily a bad type, the horse can be fickle and/or ordinary. He is inconsistent with his affections and while the relationship with a horse can be good, it's never really great. You can sincerely love a horse, but you usually find that something is missing. You then have to choose whether you want to tough it out or keep looking.
The donkey. Usually very cute, usually also an ass. (Har-dee-har-har!) We'll toss the liars, cheaters, and all-around bad guys in this group (and I truthfully hate to do that to the cute picture of the donkey above). But that's how they get you - you hate to hate them. They treat you rotten, and you love them anyways. Luckily for me, I got out of my donkey-dating stage years ago and never looked back.
So, I was bombarded by real life examples that made me feel like maybe unicorns didn't exist after all. As I grew ever older, I was even told that by cynical women who'd been done wrong. "Get your head out of the clouds, girl," they said. "If you want to be happy in life, adjust your expectations because unicorns don't exist. Those Disney fairy tales really do a disservice to girls because it skews their expectations to something unattainable. Go find yourself a good horse and learn to be satisfied with that."
That was discouraging.
Then, you'd meet someone who had a fantastic relationship that had, say, sustained 20+ years. They'd tell you stories about the sweet things their unicorn had done for them, and why they were so lucky to have one. They'd tell you to hold out until you found a unicorn - you know, that special someone that treats you the way you truly deserve. Mind you, they couldn't point out any unicorns for you, but they told you to keep a look out.
That was frustrating.
So, to recap: You believe in unicorns even though you've never seen one. Then, you realize you're only dating horses and donkeys. Then, you're told to settle for a good horse. Then, you see someone who has a unicorn (you get insanely jealous), and you're told to wait for the unicorn. (And people wonder why dating is so difficult and confusing).
Then, a relationship with what you thought was a good horse ends, and you're moseying along throughout the fields they call life for awhile. A few months go by, and you get set up on a blind date way out in the field. You show up, see this date and BAM!
Umm, what the heck is that horse doing
with a horn on its forehead?!?!?!?!
with a horn on its forehead?!?!?!?!
You can't quite believe it, so you inch over very cautiously to take a closer look. You decide that it does, in fact, look like a unicorn. But, you're skeptical because let's face it - you've never seen an available unicorn in your life! It couldn't be true.
Guess which option I chose.